tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post6693778522269650012..comments2023-10-30T03:57:36.471-07:00Comments on Creepy Query Girl: The Bare Bones of the MatterCreepy Query Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18115161057496086972noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-46676775488330100462010-04-14T22:27:36.941-07:002010-04-14T22:27:36.941-07:00The second one was definitely better. I have to do...The second one was definitely better. I have to do this with an entire manuscript and I'm so not looking forward to it. well, that's the life of a writer, right? :)Rebecca T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11994380364321336824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-34155719067168696752010-04-14T20:18:26.188-07:002010-04-14T20:18:26.188-07:00Quick learner!Quick learner!Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01979695022396934207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-11881340726510812622010-04-14T17:13:49.934-07:002010-04-14T17:13:49.934-07:00Wow! What a difference between the two excerpts. ...Wow! What a difference between the two excerpts. Great discovery there. :)wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06601761842537889384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-86880003656431261442010-04-14T12:38:10.718-07:002010-04-14T12:38:10.718-07:00Thanks Zoe! I admit, I have to cringe at the fact...Thanks Zoe! I admit, I have to cringe at the fact that it took me so long to get this right! But if my flubs can help other people than it's worth it. You've got a great technique there!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-30049402316579113872010-04-14T10:38:37.936-07:002010-04-14T10:38:37.936-07:00Howdy! First, mad props for being brave enough to ...Howdy! First, mad props for being brave enough to post your before and after. Second version is so much cleaner. I'm forever streamlining my own work - my first drafts are ALWAYS so tangled with adjectives that you need a machete just to find the main character. Now, I never lead with setting and I keep description to a bare minimum, like, seriously, a sentence or a carefully-worded phrase. Then I just ask myself, "Then what happened?" and focus ENTIRELY on advancing the story. Nice blog!Zoe C. Courtmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00642503770758938774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-86968256497564715732010-04-14T09:14:20.431-07:002010-04-14T09:14:20.431-07:00Thanks TR- Yes, I changed the settings because AA ...Thanks TR- Yes, I changed the settings because AA remarked that the black background was hard onthe eyes too! Glad you like it:)Creepy Query Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18115161057496086972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-89993432121824583682010-04-14T08:33:18.419-07:002010-04-14T08:33:18.419-07:00Second version is so much better, I think. Unclutt...Second version is so much better, I think. Uncluttered and easy to read - definitely better hook!<br /><br />Have you changed your blog look? If yes, I like it - I hate black backgrounds! :)Talli Rolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04780882465745107715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-52290095615280555152010-04-14T07:03:49.837-07:002010-04-14T07:03:49.837-07:00Justine- what is a beta and how can I find one for...Justine- what is a beta and how can I find one for me?:)<br /><br />Thanks for the clarification Stina, i'll change the link.<br /><br />AA- I'll see what I can do about colors!<br />Thanks so much for the comments guys. I'm sure I've still got plenty of 'Aha' moments yet to come:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-2909288757850569512010-04-14T06:22:50.981-07:002010-04-14T06:22:50.981-07:00Great job on tightening your beginning. The second...Great job on tightening your beginning. The second version is much better. <br /><br />I've enter the Miss Snark's First Victim before(she's not Miss Snark--that was an agent). The advice can be really helpful, and sometimes not. But it's helps to see what grabs people, and why starting with backstory fails.Stinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11415189347501942340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-91999171379694953372010-04-14T05:45:29.610-07:002010-04-14T05:45:29.610-07:00I agree, the second one is better. It's amazin...I agree, the second one is better. It's amazing what you can do with words when you cut some out. I'm wordy by nature, but my beta has helped me see the error of my ways. <br /><br />~JDJEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12390400360357693403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-63552057693819042322010-04-14T04:23:43.156-07:002010-04-14T04:23:43.156-07:00Yes, the second is so so so much better. I learnt ...Yes, the second is so so so much better. I learnt that the bare bones is much better the hard way. After three years, three drafts, and one mentor later. <br /><br />I have a request. Can you alter your colours? I find it SO glary and hard on my eyes with white text on black background. Would be so much more of a pleasure to read if you had a light backgound and dark text. By all means ignore my request, but I think most bloggers feel the same. Sorry!Jessica Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10889900730906728317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-65310774332033106912010-04-14T04:15:07.985-07:002010-04-14T04:15:07.985-07:00Yup, the second is much better. I admit I was skim...Yup, the second is much better. I admit I was skimming through the details in the first one to find the dialogue or action. Don't you just love those 'aha' moments?Vicki Rochohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07381089434014961076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-47614857899698222912010-04-14T03:47:38.065-07:002010-04-14T03:47:38.065-07:00Yep. The second is much better.Yep. The second is much better.Bish Denhamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13359927719391990534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-57950396732495962462010-04-14T03:09:32.578-07:002010-04-14T03:09:32.578-07:00That's awesome Clara! You aren't going to...That's awesome Clara! You aren't going to believe me but me original manuscript was 130,000 words. The final stats show it down to 104,000 now. So that's progress. lol. I can't wait to read it!Creepy Query Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18115161057496086972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5691193709206281737.post-30457795055829873612010-04-14T03:07:58.422-07:002010-04-14T03:07:58.422-07:00I agree Katie, the bare bones are much more intere...I agree Katie, the bare bones are much more interesting. I like to say every writer writes a book for himself. One of the parts of editing is making that book a piece for readers, which usually means making things more excitting and cutting (A LOT!) of parts and prioritizing interesting, shocking, information.<br />I try to do it in my one too, so we are all on the same boat =) I´ve managed to cut 4 thousand words from my ms so far, and I´m only at the first arch. Hopefully I re wrote things in a more ffective way...Yuppie!<br /><br />Cheers!Clarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00062728322162370588noreply@blogger.com