Psych : Tell me Creepy. Why are you here today ?
Me: I’m…a stalker.
Psych: You’re stalking someone?
Me: Several people, actually.
Psych: I see. And when did the stalking first begin?
Me: *sigh* About the time I got ready to query my first manuscript, back in 2009. It started with little things,- agent blogs, query submission guidelines, interviews, Querytracker stats, AWWC feedback, etc…
Psych: And now?
Me: Now there’s this thing called twitter. I not only know where my targets live and work, but how old their kids are, what they had for breakfast, lunch, dinner, who they’re meeting later in the day, what time they go to bed….
Psych: And do you want to know all this stuff?
Me: No. Not really, no.
Psych: But you keep checking their twitter anyway?
Me: *burying head in hands* yes!
Me: I don’t know. I guess I keep hoping something along the lines of ‘I’m reading Creepy’s manuscript! It’s the best thing I’ve ever read EVER in a million years. I want to be her agent!’ will suddenly pop up. You know, I just want a peek! -Kind of like getting an ultrasound to see if your baby’s gonna be a boy or a girl. Except in this case it’s like the doctor has the doppler to your belly and keeps saying random things like ‘I’m looking at a baby. I’m hungry. Oh, the baby has a head! And feet! Does anyone want sushi for lunch?’
I know it’s useless to keep checking. But I can’t help it! It’s become some kind of tick.
Psych: I think you need to take a step back. Be patient. Eventually you’ll know what the agent thought. And I can tell you don’t actually like checking twitter, blogs, facebook, and your email every five seconds.
Me: You’re right. I hate it! But I’m so impatient!
Psych: I’ve heard that isn’t a very valuable quality in this business.
Me: Yer tellin’ me.
My pseudo might be Creepy Query Girl. But it's rare I actually live up to my name. Lately though? --I'm feeling like a total stalker! Anyone else feel like a creepy querier sometimes?