Monday, January 24, 2011

Feeling Like a CQG

Psych :  Tell me Creepy.  Why are you here today ?

Me:  I’m…a stalker.

Psych:  You’re stalking someone?

Me:  Several people, actually.

Psych:  I see.  And when did the stalking first begin?

Me:  *sigh*  About the time I got ready to query my first manuscript, back in 2009.  It started with little things,-  agent blogs, query submission guidelines, interviews, Querytracker stats, AWWC feedback,  etc…

Psych:  And now?

Me:  Now there’s this thing called twitter.  I not only know where my targets live and work, but how old their kids are, what they had for breakfast, lunch, dinner, who they’re meeting later in the day, what time they go to bed….

Psych:  And do you want to know all this stuff?

Me:  No.  Not really, no.

Psych:  But you keep checking their twitter anyway?

Me:  *burying head in hands*  yes!

Psych:  Why?

Me:  I don’t know.  I guess I keep hoping something along the lines of ‘I’m reading Creepy’s manuscript!  It’s the best thing I’ve ever read EVER in a million years.  I want to be her agent!’ will suddenly pop up.  You know,   I just want a peek!  -Kind of like getting an ultrasound to see if your baby’s gonna be a boy or a girl.   Except in this case it’s like the doctor has the doppler to your belly and keeps saying random things like ‘I’m looking at a baby.  I’m hungry.  Oh, the baby has a head!   And feet!  Does anyone want sushi for lunch?’

 I know it’s useless to keep checking.  But I can’t help it!  It’s become some kind of tick.

Psych:   I think you need to take a step back.  Be patient.  Eventually you’ll know what the agent thought.  And I can tell you don’t actually like checking twitter, blogs, facebook, and your email every five seconds.

Me:  You’re right.  I hate it!  But I’m so impatient! 

Psych:  I’ve heard that isn’t a very valuable quality in this business.

Me:  Yer tellin’ me.

My pseudo might be Creepy Query Girl.  But it's rare I actually live up to my name.  Lately though?  --I'm feeling like a total stalker!  Anyone else feel like a creepy querier sometimes?

35 comments:

Will Burke said...

Not yet, but the day is coming. I'll meet you in the bushes, you bring donuts, and I'll bring a thermos of coffee.

Angela Felsted said...

I feel creepy enough without joining twitter. Thanks for giving me reason to put it off.

Sarah said...

I totally twitter-stalked when I was querying ... it's a painful addiction (but, um, kind of thrilling when you know they're talking about you). May you have that feeling some day very soon! Wait--should I be encouraging this addiction?

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I'm lucky. The agents who have my ms aren't on twitter. Nor do they blog. :D

I can pretend they don't exist while I stalk other agents. Not that I do much of that. Too busy working on new WIP. ;)

Laura Pauling said...

I can't say I eve feel creepy. I assumed your post was a bit hyperbolic - if that's a word. I've loved getting to see a different side to agents on Twitter. And authors I love. But there are so many that aren't on Twitter too.

Heather Hellmann said...

I'm not on Twitter yet, and I'm not at the query submitting stage. When I do send off my first queries I have a feeling I'll have to borrow your stalking binoculars :)

salarsenッ said...

Hah! So there. I've recently stepped back and am limiting myself. I have too. CQG - write, edit, revise, research, submit...and forget about it. Move forward. That way, when that agent calls you all glowy about you, you'll be ready with something new!

Heart to U.

Katie Mills said...

thanks sheri! Can I borrow a little of your resolve? just a little? I thought I was so over agent stalking too. I did great until I got asked for a full and then I had a total relapse. Fell off the wagon in a big way. LOL

Tracy said...

LOL, a little.

I was on twitter this morning,and one agent mentioned something about a story not living up to the expectation from the query (paraphrasing here). Since it was an agent I'd just sent a partial off to, I began obsessively hitting refresh on my email send/receive... convinced she was talking about ME!

Dan said...

I've been kind of bad to the other extreme lately. I actually forgot I had a particular query out there until I got a form rejection from the agent. "Oh yeah."

This is less from apathy than from disorganization, though.

Old Kitty said...

Oh I say stalk away and be proud of it!! You are being so normal!! Who hasn't sent to a competition etc and not keep checking the site every ten seconds to see if their story has been shortlisted or not?!?!?!?!

:-)

Take care and accept your inner stalker!!! Embrace it! Yay!! x

Solvang Sherrie said...

When I start getting obsessive, I distract myself with other things. Like yesterday I made chocolate chip muffins, a breakfast strata, baguettes, granola bars and an amazing new pasta. Seriously.

In other news, I also gained ten pounds, just this weekend...

Matthew Rush said...

I tend to avoid Twitter, but mostly only because I don't get it. Hmm. I do admit I'm completely addicted to reading blogs. Can't help it.

Nicole L Rivera said...

Lol. This is hilarious. I'm not there right now, but seeing as I'm getting ready to query again in February-March-ish, I feel your pain. Flip off your internet for a couple of hours, pull up a book you know will occupy your mind, and relax. That usually works for me. Or go out somewhere and do something non-query related.

DL Hammons said...

I'd like to believe that when I do begin the querying process that I'll remain calm and reserved, but that might just be wishful thinking. :)

LTM said...

I had to get off the Twitter, it was driving me insane. Seriously. I was having anger issues reading about agents getting cupcakes and ordering their wedding invitations... :D But impatience, nonstop email checking. Oh yeah. Still *there.*

sigh. ;o) <3

Carolyn V. said...

I should stalk more agents on twitter, it actually sounds like a good idea!

Christine Fonseca said...

DUDE!!! LOVE THIS POST! I so totally understand.

Elena Solodow said...

I had to mandate a three-hour hiatus from checking my email today. Me, obsessive? Nah.

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

lol. I'm just getting ready to send another batch of queries out. Maybe I need to follow more agents on Twitter. :)

Nicole Zoltack said...

I'll get creepier when I finish making tweaks and editing my MSs. Once it query time, I'll get creepy, lol

Lisa Blandford said...

Katie, I would LOSE MY MIND (which isn't too hard) if I didn't let it go when I hit the send button. You can literally drive yourself mad. Hang in there. Its not easy, we all know. Good luck to you!

Carolyn Abiad said...

Twitter isn't for me either, but every time my phone bleeps an email alert, I have a distinctly Pavlovian urge to check! I think we all have a touch of Creepy :D

Joy Tamsin David said...

Oh yeah, I stalk people all the time!

Gina said...

I must be completely alone in hating Twitter. I think it's so boring!

I guess I don't stalk, I just check my e-mail obsessively whilst going through rounds of queries. Did you finish your synopsis? I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

WritingNut said...

Ahhh.. I don't have a Twitter account as yet... but I feel my day is coming soon.. both for that and to start the stalking process :) Don't worry... you're not alone!

Colene Murphy said...

Hahaha! Yes. I imagine it would feel that way! But hell, if it pays off whatever. Stalk away!

Jamie (Mithril Wisdom) said...

I imagine that I'd be a creepy queryer when it comes to it :P Twitter can be a blessing and a curse :P

Kelly Dexter said...

There are too many ways to keep tabs on people in this day and age.

I've definitely felt that way before.

Her highness, Samantha Vérant said...

I get this. I've done it. My name is Samantha and I used to be a twitter/blog/forum stalker. Phew. That felt good.

Angelina Rain said...

Lol. You are so funny. I’m glad I found this blog. I’ll follow it.

As for twitter stalking. If they don’t want to be stalked, then they shouldn’t have a twitter account?

Tamara Narayan said...

I got a twitter account, but have never used it. I'll stick to stalking blogs for now. I have enough distractions keeping me from actual work.

Jayne said...

If I enter a short story comp, I do a real-time check of the name of the comp to see who else has entered it/has mentioned it, and then I check out their website / blog / twitter to try and guage their writing. I then fret. A lot. I also hit the main website many, many times to see if there are any status changes, my email (all of them, even old ones I haven't touched for years just in case), my phone...

Organic Meatbag said...

Hey, it's OK, Katie! It's only stalking if you start naming all of your crackers after the person you are stalking, and then construct a creepy death mask of that same person and wear it in the shower...
chin up, kiddo!

The Good Wifehold said...

Ha! Hilarious. Perhaps we've all got a bit of stalker in us!. Hope you get your success.

By the way - I'm so jealous you live in Paris! It's my favourite city.

TGW

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