So two out of three requests for my full ms have resulted in rejection. And thankfully, for once- both agents sighted a very distinct reason for their pass.
My Main Character, Sadie Brooks.
So I decided she and I had to sit down and have a little talk.
Me: What. did. you. do?
Sadie: *stares, eyes wide* You seriously think this all my fault? You wrote me the way I am, for crying out loud!
Me: Did not! I was going for a pretty, out-going, pragmatic girl with a firm grasp on the reality around her, and a self-deprecating sense of humor that made her come off borderline goofy at times. What happened? This agent thinks you’re too blatantly self-serving and unlikeable!
Sadie: Tell them to screw off.
Me: *Slams down rejection letter* You see!? This is what I’m talking about! You’re going to have to suffer a major personality over-haul. And this agent *holds up second letter* says you aren’t unique enough for her taste.
Sadie: Hmn…maybe you should make my hair purple? Or I could be bald! *smiles wide and bats her eyelashes*
Me: I’m not going to make your hair purple. Or bald. I don’t think that’s what they mean.
Sadie: You could make me clumsy. I could keep walking into things or get paper cuts that attract vampires.
Me: Would you just shut up!? Maybe I should make you mute. That would be unique.
Sadie: You could. But your plot would go to hell…Hey! You could give me a wooden leg!? I could even name it!
Me: Very funny. Then I’d have to explain why a teenager would be given a wooden leg instead of prosthetic one. Makes no sense.
Sadie: *sighs* I’m bored. And hungry. You got any hotdogs?
Me: No. And you don’t like hotdogs any more. You’re going to have to like something weird and eat a lot of it. It will make you more unique…and you’re going to have to start being nicer to your peers.
Sadie: Hey, I’m nice!
Me: Stop calling them names.
Sadie: I don’t!
Me: What about Paul Boyardee?
Sadie: He’s named after a spaghetti sauce, for crying out loud!
Me: *burries head in hands* We’ve got work to do. Prepare to be de-bitchified and unique-afied.
Sadie: Those aren’t even words. What the hell kind of writer are you?