Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Clumsiness Nearly Killed the Katie

Okay, maybe there’s something endearing about a girl who trips over her own feet. But, besides attracting good-looking vampires, I can’t think of anything off-hand.

I did gymnastics and ballet as a kid.  I should be graceful and willowy and light.  I shouldn’t have to invest in plastic wine and water glasses because I’ve broken every damn piece of glass, ceramic or porcelain we’ve ever owned.

I don’t mean to.  It’s just, I tend to do things (talk, think, move, eat) a little fast- especially when I’m doing something I don’t necessarily love, like chores. In my mad dash to finish doing dishes or vacuum, I often end up with something broken on my hands.

Last month, however, I almost broke myself when I closed the trunk door of my car on my head.

Yes.  I’ll just let that sink in for a minute. 

I blame it on how the French park bumper to bumper.  After work, I threw my materials into the trunk of my car as I usually do, and then brought down the trunk door –again, as usual – except, by some wonder of physics, I managed to clip the top of my head with the corner of my trunk door and I nearly knocked myself unconscious.  I screamed and leaned against the car behind me, hands clamped to my forehead, while practically sitting on the hood of said parked car.  My head started bleeding but I’d be late to pick the kids up from school if I stopped to have it checked out.  So I drove with one hand and stopped the bleeding with one of those extra Mcdonalds napkins that are always found in the glove compartment of a mom’s car and prayed I didn’t have a concussion.

When I got to the children’s school, a French parent I often talk with asked me what happened.  And when I told her she got very serious and said: “Oh! I did that last year.  Knocked myself clean out! – concussion, blurry vision and everything.  You must be careful!”

I felt a little better.  Guess this is just one of the many dangers of being a suburban mother in France.  You learn something new every day.

Needless to say, If someone parks too close behind me, I will sit on the hood of their freaking car to get in and out of my trunk.  Ass-marks be damned.

Ever seriously hurt yourself in some ridiculous, ridiculous way?  Are you clumsy in life or carefully precise?  Does this change when you’re writing? (I know I’m a lot more careful with my words and actions when I’m writing them down)

32 comments:

Annalisa Crawford said...

Apart from lol - sorry, couldn't help it - I'm glad you managed to arrive at the school safely. I once opened a door into my head - I had a perfect bruise line running down my forehead and nose. Not knocked out but definitely woozy :-)

Loopyloo said...

When I was getting into my car yesterday, I didn't lean down far enough and I bashed my head on the side of the roof. At least you have an excuse, mine was just plain idiocy, and it really hurt too! You're not the only clumsy person :)

Heather Day Gilbert said...

AGHH! I hurt just imagining this scenario for you! And BLOOD!??? Glad you kept it together and didn't pass out.

I do okay w/my own clutzy bruising and scratches (thanks to a crazy cat), but when my KIDS are bleeding, it's a different story. Something inside my gut just twists up and I actually FEEL their pain vicariously! It's that Mom Super-Sense! Hee.

Becky Mahoney said...

Ouch! So glad to hear you're okay!

I've sprained my right ankle twice: once because someone was spinning me around and accidentally let go, and once when I fell down the stairs. I did, however, reach new and interesting levels of clumsiness when I was running up a broken escalator, tripped, and nailed my leg on one of the steps. I was on my way to a movie, so I didn't really have time to check it out, but by the time the movie ended, I had the biggest, most swollen bruise I've ever given myself. That spot still hurts if I press it too hard, and that was last October. Oy.

Matthew MacNish said...

You are adorable.

Old Kitty said...

OW.

I'm not so much clumsy with things as just clumsy in other ways. Today I needed to visit a walk-in clinic at my community hospital. I had the map and everything (easy 30 minutes walk from where I live according to google) but I ended up taking left when I should have turned right and walking straight ahead when I should have turned left. Anyway, I ended up in the next county, bordered by fields and a forest.

A little boy on his bike helped me in the end.

LOL! Take care, please!!
x

Steph said...

This passed Monday, I smoked my head on the hard vault at my work. I was mildly concussed. I felt dumb, but I was worried about impending brain damage. Luckily I feel better now.

Nancy Thompson said...

I was taking one of my son's friends home when he did the exact same thing. The cut was bleeding profusely. I had to take the poor kid to the hospital where he got 3 stitches. As for me, I tried running down the stairs once with my arms full of building plans as I tried deleting old files form my digital camera. I fell down the stairs and mangle my ankle so bad I was in a cast for 6 months. I feel your pain!

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

I once got a second-degree burn on my foot from spilling hot water on it when I was trying to drain pasta. Another time I was building a plastic model and sliced my knee with an Xacto knife, requiring a couple of stitches.

Meredith said...

Ugh, that's awful! That had to hurt. I stupidly hit my head on the dryer yesterday when I was bending down to get clothes out of it, and now I have a bruise on my eyebrow, but that car trunk had to be so much worse! Hope your head feels better soon.

Dana said...

Ouch. Glad you're okay.

I'm a huge klutz. I wrote a blog post about it a couple of days ago. I'm the same as you--I move too fast, then walk into walls, smash into tables, hit my head on open cupboard doors... That's just a day in my life. :)

Lady Gwen said...

*LOL* Why do I always laugh when someone gets hurt?! I shouldn't be saying this, but...I was taking a shower one day and washing my face. Some serious face-washing, very intent on getting it done fast and getting out of there. Well, my fingers slipped apart and my pinkie went right up my nose. HARD. I totally had a major freaking bloody nose! And it hurt really freaking bad, too. *LOL*

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sounds painful!
I once caught my finger with a hedge trimmer. Stitches and everything,

Marsha Sigman said...

OWWWW.

I always unintentionally hurt myself when I'm mad at someone else.

1)Furiously opening door to laundry room=busted lip with edge of door.

2)Threw styrofoam container of food at husband=slipped in it and bruised tail bone.

3)Chasing misbehaving kids=broken toe rounding corner of coffee table.

I take blind rage to a whole new level.lol

Connie Keller said...

So glad you're okay.

I'm clumsy too. I broke my tailbone bending over because there was a chair behind me and I caught my t-bone on the chair. Dropped a Costco size bottle of shampoo on my foot and got a massive hematoma. I could go on, but you get the picture.

Stephen Page said...

Ouch!

Nicole Zoltack said...

Ouch! I'm definitely clumsy but one of my sister's clumsier so that make me feel better. lol

Jessica Salyer said...

I did that last year, I was at work and hit my head so hard I had to go down to the ER. Concussion, not fun.

DL Hammons said...

I'm not really here...and you didn't really see me...but that is friggin hilarious (pain aside). And I know it goes against your self-image, but I can totally see you doing that. :)

Damyanti said...

You're not alone. I broke my nose by walking full tilt into a glass door I had closed ten minutes back. My nose is still broken.

D.G. Hudson said...

I closed my fingers in the car door, the desk drawers, etc. usually when I'm distracted or trying to go too fast, as you say.

But to bop your head and then drive on, that's a mother for you!
Over here, someone would have wanted to take a pix of you with their camera phone and then post it!

Hope you're feeling better!

Christine Rains said...

Oh! Ouch! I'm a major klutz myself. I've walked into walls. Yes, with my eyes wide open in the middle of the day.

Botanist said...

Ouch! I hope you're alright, Katie. Those little accidents sound silly, but they happen so easily.

I'm normally careful, but have the occasional mishap. Years ago, I was building some stage scenery, handling large sheets of plywood. It was a sunny day, and I was outdoors in bare feet. I picked up a sheet, and it slipped out of my grasp and landed edge-on across my foot. The next few minutes went in slow motion as I thought "that was silly," then "that kinda hurts," then "crap, I can't walk." Luckily it wasn't broken, but it took days to recover from that split-second lapse.

TC Avey said...

Wow, that must have really hurt! I've had the wind almost close car doors/trunk on me but so far, thankfully, I have not been injured!
As for my own clumsiness, it comes and goes- I certainly wouldn't call myself grace.

Slamdunk said...

Awesome story CQG! Glad you are ok though and can now laugh about it.

I accidentally bonked my father-in-laws head with the trunk before. We were unloading his car when I though he was done and started closing the trunk. He evidently saw one last thing he wanted to grab and pow. I would def rather close a trunk on my own head.

Colene Murphy said...

Oh no!! That sounds so painful!! I'm sorry you hurt yourself. As another real, (not fiction endearing) klutz (my husband constantly threatens to by me a sippy cup) to another, I'm sorry!

D. Rhodes said...

i laughed out loud through your whole story! but i have sympathy, too.

the molded plastic case for my angle grinder needed some modifications so that the grinder and its various parts would fit into it. i needed to cut a bit of it away. what better for the job than a big old box cutter, because, you know, they are very sharp. but the plastic did put up a little bit of a fight and, due to the laws of physics or something, this created resistance. which meant that the box cutter was traveling extremely fast when it finally sliced through that last little bit. and then there was nothing to stop it going straight into my hand. then lots of blood came straight out. fun. =)

Amy L. Sonnichsen said...

Oh you poor thing! I'm glad you're okay. Ouch!!

One time I was getting out of a car that was sitting on a slope. As I put my foot out, the car rolled backwards right onto it. I was stuck, couldn't move at all, and was laughing so hard nobody in the car believed that the car was ACTUALLY on top of my foot.

I walked away without an injury, though (after my aunt finally pulled forward so I could get my foot out). Crazy, but true!

Kimberlee Turley said...

I think what I find most funny about your post is that I did gymnastics/ballet too and I'm super clumsy. (My alias isn't "clutzattack" for no reason.)

I'm most prone to walking into the narrow side of a door or tripping on curb swells. When I do fall, I often dive roll or arabesque and windmill my arms until I recover my balance--which is often mistaken for "grace" or being deft.

Talli Roland said...

I once caught my stiletto in the cuff of my trouser and went flying down the stairs at Highgate Tube head first. NOT good.

People stepped over me.

Sigh.

Theresa Milstein said...

Yeah, nothing endearing about being clumsy--another issue I have with those books!

Ouch about your hand! Glad it wasn't worse. I'm not the most coordinated person on the planet. It's sad, really.

Tamara Narayan said...

I get in a hurry and bang myself up all the time. Apparently, it's genetic. My daughter does the same thing. The only difference is I cuss up a storm and she cries.

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