Me : Oh, hey !
Blog: *blinks groggily* Who the hell are you?
Me: It’s me! You know…the one who started this blog.
Blog: Oh. Yeah. You. *swats away fly*
Me: You don’t look so good.
Blog: Yeah, well, that’s what happens when someone’s been abandoned for four months.
Me: I never noticed how blindingly hypnotizing your background was before. It’s giving me a headache and toothache simultaneously.
Blog: Imagine living here…
Me: Okay, well, I know it’s been awhile…
Blog: Four. Months. FOUR MONTHS! You didn’t even say goodbye!
Me: I know, I’m sorry! But I didn’t know I was leaving. It was one of those sporadic spiritual leave-of-absences that people just up and take sometimes when a higher power calls. You know, like Jesus in the dessert. Or Forrest Gump. Or that crazy guy that just up and decided to walk across Australia one day.
Blog: I see. So tell me, Forrest, what did you accomplish during this impromptu journey? Any writing to speak of? Did you discover the truths to the universe? Get nominated for a nobel prize? Orchestrate the next technological revolution?
Me: Uh...*wrings hands*. Well, I did a little writing, yes. And I managed to keep my kids alive and the house from burning down. So there’s that. And, uh…there was some binge watching Gilmore Girls somewhere in there- all seven seasons!
Blog: *arms folded* Color me impressed.
Me: Look, I’m really sorry. But I’m here now and I’d like to make it up to you. You look a little tired and washed out. Let me give you a make-over. Unbraid that pink and beige armpit hair of yours and give your place some fresh air. Maybe even start cleaning out and organizing your content? And I’ll try to start posting regularly again. What do you say?
Blog: *sniffs* Well, I guess I really could use a bath. And it has been a little lonely around here. *frowns skeptically* Okay. You gotta deal. But you take off on me again and I just might have get jacked up on viruses and kill your computer.
Me: Note taken.
Sometimes I feel like I went to sleep one day in September, and when I woke up, we were already January 1st! It’s 2014? Wait, what?! I wish I hadn't neeeded to take so much time away from you all and this blog in order to ‘find myself’ but, it turned out to be a necessary thing. It’s a new year, so if ever there was a time to stand up, brush myself off and start over, it’s now.
So, tell me- who’s still out there fighting the good fight? I’ve missed you all!