Monday, December 19, 2011

Twelve Days of a Writer's Christmas

On the Twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
A six-figure deal for my trilogy…

Eleven full requests…

Ten-page critique from                                                            JK Rowling…

Nine more beta readers…

Eight adverbs permanently erased from my memory…

Seven drafts that auto-revise…

Six days alone with my work in progress…

Five golden story ideas!!

Four more hours before my laptop dies…

Three agents offering representation…

Two cups of coffee…

And a writing hut on an island in the South Seas!

Unfortunately since I’ve yet to receive my magical auto-revising drafts (amongst other gifts), I’m going to be tackling another round of revisions advised by the agent over Christmas break.  Therefore I’m taking a blogging hiatus from today through January 2nd!

I hope you all have a fantabulous Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Friday, December 16, 2011


Today, myself, Nicole Ducleroir, and Lydia K are co-hosting DL Hammon’s 

The Gist: Today everyone who has signed up will repost an old blogpost- perhaps from their early days- or a post they feel is the most helpful or worthy of a bigger audience.  

It was a hard choice but I decided to go with an oldie that helped start it all- the post that sparked those first few comments way back when and set the tone for what Creepy Query Girl is today.

I give you the one, the only, the QUERY SPOOF.  A query letter that contains pretty much everything a query…shouldn’t.  I’ve itched to send this out to a real agent, but have never dared.
Dear Mister Agent,

I came upon your profile through After reviewing your agency website, I firmly believe my manuscript could be puddy in your strong, well shaped hands. I also like long walks on the beach and sing Sinatra lyrics in the shower.

The world of ‘SAVATAR’ will blow your proverbial socks off. Agent Marmucker has been dealing with the loss of his limbs since the bubblegum factory explosion of 2087. On a secret mission to planet Hooters, Agent M. will have the occasion to live a normal life once more. Through technological mindmelding means, he will incarnate the body of an eleven foot tall native boogyfry named ‘Crut’ and infiltrate their tribe. The knowledge he acquires will change his perception of the human race forever. He alone can prevent a war between the two planets by taming the flaming Spleagle-whats and becoming chief of the boogyfry tribe.

Oh yes, and he SAVES THE WORLD.

This is my first almost finished book and I have been writing non-stop for…..five whole days. I think this could really be the next big thing- bigger than Harry Potter and Twilight put together. I am dead serious. Dead. Serious.

Even my neighborhood psychic Sabine says there’s no doubt that SAVATAR will take the world by storm, and she totally predicted Michael Jackson’s disappearance (he’s still alive, btw) - so trust me when I say that this is a win-win.

Thank you for your time,

Sleep Deprived in Detroit

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I Drank the Water

Most of you probably won’t remember a blogpost I did about living in France entitled ‘Don’t Drink the Water !’ which was a commentary on the number of pregnant women living in and around the Parisian suburbs and how French drinking water must have contributed to my leaving with an extra passenger aboard some nine years ago. (I’m convinced the French government has been secretly slipping folic acid and some other fertility enhancers into their tap water ever since WWII)

Therefore, heeding my own advice, since I’ve moved back to France I resorted to drinking bottled water for a few years or other bottled drinks as often as possible.  But then, to cut down on plastics, we got a water filter and eventually, these past few months, I’ve foolishly been filling a clean plastic bottle with tap water and sticking it in the fridge.

I should have known better.

Because, yet again, I have inevitably fallen victim to the French drinking water pregnancy continuum. That’s right, a new addition to the Creepy household is in our conceivable future (pardon the pun).  It was a definite surprise and I’m sure on some cosmic divine level, this must have been planned. 

It just wasn’t planned by us:)

But never the less, this Creepy Query Girl is thrilled to have another project in the making...even if it isn’t of the writing sort.

How about you guys?  Life throw you any pleasant surprises lately?

Monday, December 12, 2011

Love Actually

Last night I finally bound, gagged, and cajoled my loving husband into watching one of my favorite holiday movies with me: Love Actually.  (He is NOT a Hugh Grant fan.) It’s a British comedy that follows several characters and shows love’s various facets.  Despite the hubs complaining- I know he secretly liked it too.

It got me thinking about some of my other Christmas faves:

Santa Claus the Movie- To this day I am still convinced David Huddleston is the REAL Santa.

It’s a Wonderful Life- If you don’t at least want to shed a tear at the end of this movie, you might need to worry about your eternal soul.

A Christmas Story-  I was a total Ralphie as a kid- the obsessions, the daydreaming.  This movie is so genuine and hilarious.

Family Man- This one kind of sneaks up on you over the years.  Nicholas Cage and Téa Leoni are both awesome here together.

What are your favorite must-see Christmas movies?

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

What is Your Favorite Series?

Bottom line is :  A stomach flu is circulating the Creepy household.  The house itself needs an in-depth visit from the cleaning fairies.  Real job is losing it’s flavor and I’ve got brainstorming to do in order to prepare for another round of KISSING FOR COFFEE revisions. 

I need a break from life. 

And nothing spells ‘escape’ better than ‘SERIES’!  (okay,yeah, I know the word ‘series’ doesn’t really spell ‘escape’ at all.  Just work with me here a minute)

For me, there is nothing better than discovering a love for a first book in a series and knowing that there are at least two or three more books following my new favorite characters.  So far in 2011 I discovered and devoured the Sookie Stackhouse and Mercy Thompson series- hours and hours of sinfully delightful plotlines and personalities that totally saved me from having a meltdown.  After all- when compared to being targeted by murderous vampires or beaten down by evil fairies- a trip to the grocery store with the kids in toe just doesn’t seem so bad anymore.

So here I am looking for suggestions. Please tell me- What is your absolutely favorite book series- one that you could read over and over again?  I’m up for anything!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Like Holding a Pen

I am always in awe of writers who write out their first drafts by hand.

I can definitely see the practicality in this.  I mean, wherever you are, you can just whip out a pen and a notebook and get back to your story.  –wheras I would have to lug around my laptop and look for a power source when it starts beeping that the battery is low.  Not to mention in the area I work, I’d be much more likely to get trampled by a thug going after my computer than beat up for a notebook and pen.

However, there are three reasons I don’t write out my drafts by hand:

 One- While I can type about as fast as I can think and keep at it for hours on end, I definitely lack the same stamina while writing long hand.  I’m out of practice.  If I have more than one check or envelope to write out while doing bills- I seriously get a cramp.  It’s pathetic.  And by the third envelope, my penmanship is nearly illegible. I am a handwriting wimp.

Two- Due to reason number one, it takes me a lot longer to write out my thoughts by hand which leaves me far too much time to either: lose my train of thought, hate my sentences before I’ve finished writing it out, or pretty much doubt the entire endeavor.  While tapping away on my computer, my hands are too busy spewing out my story to give me time for self-doubt or reflection. 

Three- My purse suffers from vanishing pen syndrome.  No matter how many times I put a pen in my purse, it’s never there when I need it.

What about you guys?  Do you feel comfortable doing your writing by hand?  Do you write some of it by hand and some of it on a computer?  Or are you like me and hand-writing impaired.

Friday, December 2, 2011

You Up For Bloffee? It's Been a While...

It’s been awhile since I hosted a Friday MorningFollower’s Bloffee.  But with this week’s early morning shopping sprees- trying to get those Christmas gifts squared away while they’re still on the shelves- I definitely need to take a few minutes for a nice, hot, sit-down cup of bloffee.

All you need to do to participate is: 1. Comment. 
2. Tell me what you’ve brought for morning bloffee.(Today I’ve started out with pancakes and syrup.) 
3. Click on someone you don’t know on WEDNESDAY’s (so many awesome commenters in there that I haven’t gotten to get back to yet) comments section and check out their blog!  Voila! a new friend and potential follower connection has been made!
How are you guys about Christmas shopping?  Do you have it done by the end of November?  Or do you find yourself going out the day before Christmas Eve in search of those last minute gifts?

Hope you all have a great weekend!



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