(Don't) Surprise Me!

I have nothing against surprises. As long as they’re good surprises. That said, I really don’t like surprises when it comes to my preferred forms of entertainment. If my husband says “Want to watch this movie with me?” I automatically reply “What’s it about?”. To which he most often says “I don’t know.”

*cringe*. 

I can’t. I can not just sit down and watch a movie, not knowing how it’s going to make me feel. So, much to his dismay, my husband has to wait the five minutes it takes for me to Google the title and watch the movie trailer on YouTube before I can give him a definite ‘yes’ or ‘no’. 

And yes, it drives him crazy.

But what he doesn’t understand is that my poor psyche just doesn’t let go of books and movies as easily as his does. After watching The Sixth Sense, I saw dead people for weeks. And I pondered alternate endings for Revolutionary Road every night before bed for the longest time, because the real ending totally depressed the hell out of me.

So I have to know. How will the movie make me feel and do I really feel like feeling that way right now? :) The same thing when it comes to books. I always, always read the back cover, and if it’s an internet order, I’ll also read a few reviews before plopping it in my basket. And when, despite all of that, a book still manages to surprise me in a bad way, well, let's just say if I were 'Joey' from Friends, it would end up in my freezer.

This summer my husband brought home a copy of Loving Frank by Nancy Horan. I read the back cover, and it seemed harmless enough. So I took it with us on our camping trip and quickly read through the pages of Mamah Cheney’s love affair with a married Frank Wright.  

Until the ending when, out of nowhere, *spoiler alert for people who are like me and don't know their history.*, she and her kids get axed and burned, literally, by one of the servants.

Hold on. Wait, WHAT?! I frantically Wikipedia-ed the true-life story of Mamah Cheney and literally threw the book on the floor like it was alive and biting. Son of a ….! This wasn’t on the BACK!!! *hyperventilates*

Damn book nearly ruined my vacation.

How about you? Do you guys pick stories that fit your mood or just go with the flow? Do you find it easy to let go once the book/movie is over or does the bad/depressing/scary stuff haunt you for awhile?

Reading 'Trendy' Books

I’ve always been hesitant to read ‘trending’ books. In high school and college, it was because I was on a constant classic literature kick and thought the only things worth reading were listed on a syllabus somewhere.

As a sophomore in college, I thought Harry Potter was for children. But then, while stuck at my British aunt’s house for a couple weeks in between semesters, I happened upon the first three books and figured ‘why not?’

As you can imagine, I devoured them in days and faithfully read and watched every book and movie of the series.

I thought Twilight was a L.J. Smith cop-off and would never be as good as the original Vampire Diaries Trilogy I read in my early teens. But then my mother read the first book on a plane-ride over to visit me here in France and left the book behind with the recommendation that I give it a try. 

*sigh*

I’ll be honest. I wasn’t impressed. I thought the writing was clunky and the plot was non-existent...at first. But that didn’t change the fact I couldn’t put it down. And, as you may have guessed, I went on to read and watch every book and movie of the series.

Then comes The Hunger Games.  I really really didn’t want to read the series, mostly because I was on a ‘happy, upbeat romantic comedy’ kick and wasn’t at all in the mood for what the violent premise had to offer. I read the first chapter and hated it. It was too dark and dreary. 

But then I picked it up a couple months later when I was left with nothing else to read and made myself get through the first three chapters. And again, I found I couldn’t put it down and went on to read every book and watch the movie.

My husband brought home Fifty Shades Darker, the sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey, about six months ago. A client at the hotel had left it behind and he likes to bring home books in English for me whenever this happens (cause he’s awesome like that). However, when I saw the title, I grimaced and placed it promptly on my bookshelf, holding it by the rim like it was some kind of writhing snake and knowing that I’d probably never crack the cover.  

Oh hell no! 

You see, I was hell bent on never EVER reading Fifty Shades of Grey. The reviews from fellow writer friends had been terrible. Even my mother, who read every book, told me ‘They’re not good books. There’s really no value to be gained. But once you start, you can’t seem to stop.” 

But then, my kindle broke.

 And I finished all the hardcovers in my to-be-read pile. 

And I received the first book of Fifty Shades of Grey for Christmas. While I put it off, eventually, well, I ran out of books to read.

Which is how I now find myself in the middle of the second book. And I’ll probably break down and read the third, too. *sigh*

My mother was absolutely right. She often is.

Now, with books like Harry Potter and The Hunger Games, it’s easy to see why they became trending best sellers. You can find everything you want in those books- good writing, characters, themes, plots, etc... 

But with books like Twilight and Fifty Shades, the draw is something completely different. Both good and bad things can be said. I think it’s hard to put your finger on, but when push comes to shove, I think there’s something highly addictive in losing yourself in someone else’s less-than-mundane life, even if their personality isn’t particularly unique or interesting. 

Why do you think some books achieve trending status? Is it different for every book? Or is there one steady must-have principle that keeps people coming back for more? Do you find yourself automatically reading trending books out of curiosity? Never read them? Or dig your heels but eventually read them anyway?

Incredible Contest Opportunity!

I received an email the other day about the ‘Biggest and Best’ contest ever held by the Writer’s Workshop. I don’t know if many of you remember the interview I did with Harry Bingham a couple years back.  He’s the author of several bestselling fiction novels, and the Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook's GUIDE TO GETTING PUBLISHED and HOW TO WRITE.

This month, in honor of Harry’s soon-to-be released title TALKING TO THE DEAD, the Writer’s Workshop is holding a competition with fantastic prizes including:

One FULL WEEK ticket to the Festival of Writing! (each worth £525)

3 Places at a lunch in London with Harry Bingham and Bill Massey- deputy publishing director of ORION where they will give you personal feedback on the opening chapter of your book.

10 Signed copies of the Writers’ and Artists’  Yearbook Guide to How to Write

10 Signed copies of the Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook Guide to Getting Published

Holy Crap!  You can read full contest details here. The bigger prizes might hold more interest for those living in or around Europe but the signed copies of WAY’s How to Write and the Guide to Getting Published are still marvelous additions to any writer’s artillery.

Congratulations Harry on your new release!

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

*CQG*

The First One In...

About year-and-a-half ago, after all the buzz surrounding Amanda Hocking and the changing way readers and publishers were looking at self-published books, authors began taking the leap one by one.

Some of them surveyed the murky Amazonian waters- full of anacondas and piranhas, and took note of everything they’d need to stay afloat. Then they jumped in and splashed gleefully around before yelling back to the others: ‘Come on in! The water’s fine!’

And so they did – Authors tumbling one after another- some after careful consideration and others with a crazed, reckless abandon- arms flailing and eyes going googley (although I imagine many of the latter got swept away by a flying, open-mouthed anaconda à la  'Deep Blue Sea' before their feet even left the ground) into the hazy water until the whole thing seemed a little crowded.

But it’s not enough to have more and more authors splashing around in the Amazon– scaring off snakes and sharp-toothed animals so they only pray on the weak or those who stray too far from the pack.

Without readers, there is no pool.

And while authors took a chance jumping in, so did the readers who decided they would give self-published books a shot. And it took more than one girl making millions off her self-published titles. Not everyone likes urban fantasy or paranormal.

The success of self-publishing is pushed forward by those who take the same time and care with their product that any traditional publisher would have. And, of course, write an awesome story. All it takes is one self-published book to change the way readers view them, good or bad. A poorly-executed book might not stop them from reading others, but it might change the price they’re willing to pay –just like a book whose prose and book cover gleam might convince them to make exceptions.

I count myself lucky that the first self-published book I ever ordered and read on my kindle was Susan Kaye Quinn’s OPEN MINDS – a story about a world where everyone can share thoughts telepathically and those who can’t are looked upon with fear and distain.

When I finished reading this book, I couldn’t believe it wasn’t traditionally published. It wasn’t just one of the best-executed ‘indie’ books I’d ever read. It was one of the best YA books, in general, that I read last year and it completely changed the way I saw self-publishing.

Today, the second installment of the Mindjack Trilogy, CLOSED HEARTS is being released and I can’t wait to read it!

Eight months ago, Kira Moore revealed to the mindreading world that mindjackers like herself were hidden in their midst. Now she wonders if telling the truth was the right choice after all. As wild rumors spread, a powerful anti-jacker politician capitalizes on mindreaders’ fears and strips jackers of their rights. While some jackers flee to Jackertown—a slum rife with jackworkers who trade mind control favors for cash—Kira and her family hide from the readers who fear her and jackers who hate her. But when a jacker Clan member makes Kira’s boyfriend Raf collapse in her arms, Kira is forced to save the people she loves by facing the thing she fears most: FBI agent Kestrel and his experimental torture chamber for jackers.

Congrats Susan! -  and THANK YOU for the time and care you’ve taken with your story and your books.  Not only have you done them justice, but you’ve made a difference in my (own, personal) view of all that is possible.

What was the first self-published book you ever read and how did it affect your view of that avenue?

Friday Morning Follower's Bloffee - Discussing New Releases

Hello, and Welcome to Friday Morning Follower’s Bloffee. If you’re new here, here’s what it’s all about:

Participating is easy! All you have to do is:

1- Comment!  

2-Tell us what you’ve brought for breakfast! (Today I’m in the mood for blueberry waffles with syrup) 

3. Click on someone in the comments section you don’t know and Voila! –  A potential friend and follower connection has been made!

Now that I have you all here, seated around my huge coffee table (since this is virtual reality and I can make my sitting room as big as I want) – Have any of you picked up any of this week’s new releases from blogosphere authors?

‘The Breakaway’ By Michelle Davidson Argyle When Naomi Jensen is kidnapped, it takes her parents two days to realize she's missing. Escape isn't high on her list of priorities when all she has to return to is an abusive boyfriend and parents who never paid much attention to her. For the first time in her life she's part of a family-even if it is a family of criminals. But she's still a captive. In a desperate attempt to regain some control in her life, Naomi embarks on a dangerous plan to make one of her kidnappers think she's falling in love with him. The plan works too well, and when faced with the chance to escape, Naomi isn't sure she wants to take it. 

‘A Spy Like Me’ By Laura Pauling:

Stripping your date down to his underwear has never been so dangerous.
Seventeen-year-old Savvy Bent expects magic on her first date with Malcolm - in Paris! Except over a picnic of sparkling cider and strawberry tarts, a sniper shoots at them. From the top of the Eiffel Tower to the depths of the catacombs, Savvy must sneak, deceive, and spy to save her family and friends and figure out whether Malcolm is one of the bad guys before she completely falls for him. 

Or he tries to snuff her out.

‘Ripper, My Love’ By Glynis Smy:

Growing up in late nineteenth century East London, Kitty Harper’s life is filled with danger and death – from her mother, her beloved neighbour and the working women of the streets. With her ever-watchful father and living surrogate family though, Kitty feels protected from harm. In fact, she feels so safe that while Whitechapel cowers under the cloud of a fearsome murderer, she strikes out on her own, moving into new premises to accommodate her sewing business. But danger is closer than she thinks. In truth, it has burrowed itself right into her heart in the form of a handsome yet troubled bachelor, threatening everything she holds dear. Will Kitty fall prey to lust – and death – herself, or can she find the strength inside to fight for her business, sanity and her future?
And who is the man terrifying the streets of East London?

‘Elemental’ – Emily White:

Just because Ella can burn someone to the ground with her mind doesn't mean she should.
But she wants to.
For ten years—ever since she was a small child—Ella has been held prisoner on an interstellar starship. Now that she has escaped, she needs answers. Who is she? Why was she taken? And who is the boy with the beautiful green eyes who haunts her memories? Is Ella the prophesied Destructor… or will she be the one who's destroyed?

‘Fabric’ – A book of poetry by Jessica Bell:

"Jessica Bell's FABRIC is a rich collection of poems that take the reader
on a deep tour of the psyche. Charting and moving across politics of language, Bell explores love, pain, failure and redemption from a variety of angles. Most of the poems sit at the fragile threshold of instinct and meaning, using symbol and sensation to get to the shock of denouement. This is a significant collection that bears multiple readings, each time yielding something fresh." ~Magdalena Ball, author of Black
Cow, Sleep Before Evening, and
Repulsion Thrust

I read ‘The Breakaway’ this past weekend and loved it and have ‘Spy Like Me’ loaded up on my kindle.  I’ve heard only great things about the other titles on this list and hope to get to them soon! How about you? Have you heard of/read any of this week’s releases?  What did you think?

Hope you all have a great weekend!

*CQG*

P - Painful Reading

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this but the kiddies are on Spring break over here in France.  TWO WEEKS of Spring break, I might add. – A very long time to be around my darlings 24/7. 

So, like with every school vacation, I prepared ahead of time – did my research and found a new adult urban fantasy series to get me through the hard days ahead. I really enjoy all types of genres but there’s something about an epic series full of life-or-death scenarios and creatures-that-go-bump-in-the-night characters that make taking my kids to the grocery store, or the town pool, playing hours of uno, or watching the same movie eleven times, well, not so bad in comparison.

That’s why February vacation was all about Jeri Smith Ready’s WVMP Vampire Radio. Christmas was dedicated to Patricia Brigg’s Mercy Thompson. Last summer I got lost in Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse novels. And now, April vacation has arrived and I am knee deep in Chloe Neil’s Chicagoland Vampires.

However, something happened last night that has never happened to me before. Oh Ms. Neil – you are truly, heart-stakingly cruel.

She did it, ladies and gentlemen.

She killed off one of the characters that has been with us throughout four whole books.  One of the MAIN characters.  And not just any main character – the love interest.  The guy who has won our heart over and over again. Gained our respect. Earned our everlasting loyalty.

He’s DEAD! Oh my.  I sat there, kindle in hand and jaw dropped, reading the line over and over again. It couldn’t be true!  Not him!  Not now! How am I is she going to move on!?

Oh the rest of the book was painful reading.  I’m not even sure if I want to order the fifth book in the series. But pure curiosity will probably win over. Plus – the series has seriously rocked up until now.

Did you ever have a moment where a character’s death brought on real-life shock and grief?

Besides this incident, I recall getting a little weepy when Rowling killed off one of the Weasley twins and the newly married couple who’d just had a baby. *sigh*

Chicken Pox Helps You Read...

So, my middle child came home from school Monday with chicken pox.  

Yay. *cue false cheer and mini fist-pump*. 

With current-day vaccinations and fading childhood recollection, I had near forgotten about this wonderful spot-casting illness. That is, until my six-year-old informed me that she had ‘pimples’ on her stomach and under her armpitsL

The doctor told me to expect my other children to start turning spotty sometime this week as well. Lovely! The only highlight of the situation is that I've downloaded a few books onto my kindle in order to pass the time taken off work to watch over my contagious kid.

Hex Hall book 3- Spellbound. I thoroughly enjoyed this entire series. Sophie’s snarky and quick-witted humor keeps us smiling and rooting for her throughout family revelations, boy troubles, demon attacks and encounters with evil headmistresses.

Junk Miles by Liz Reinhardt was a fast-paced read.  Still love her characters, emotion, romantic tension, and love-triangles. I would have finished it in one sitting if I didn’t have to, you know, sleep and eat and make sure the household doesn’t fall apart.

I’m currently reading Wicked Game by Jeri Smith Ready. I became a fan of hers after reading the first two instalments in her ‘Shift’ series so I decided to give her adult urban fantasy a try- especially after reading the endorsement from Charlaine Harris.  The first couple chapters were a little slow going but now that I’m half-way through, I am not disappointed in where things are headedJ  

What are you guys currently reading? Any recommendations for a woman in quarantine?

Oh Make Me Over

First I want to thank everybody for their kind comments on my existential crisis. I tried to get back to as many of you as I could through blog visits or email but some of you still have a noreply status through email.

Today I wanted to spotlight a long-time blogging friend and writer who is living the dream.  A year ago this May, Emily White was about to reach the finish line and self-publish her book.  She had everything ready to go- date, cover, edits, etc... but then one email changed it all when Spencer Hill sent her an offer of publication!  Now, in just a few short weeks, Emily’s dream of being published will finally come true and we are all SO excited for her and her debut novel ELEMENTAL.  
Here’s her spankin’ new trailer. Give it a whirl:

In other news, all of you who participated in last week’s ANALOGY WARS did an awesome job! But one response made had me nodding my head thinking ‘that is so true.’

Therefore, this week’s Analogy Wars winner is:
Ash-Matic with his analogy:

Querying is like picking a check-out line at the grocery store... 'Whichever line you choose you get someone who's having a bad day, looks at your purchases and sniffs with disdain, then tries to get rid of you as soon as possible.’

Congratulations Ash-Matic!  You can grab a winner button for your blog if you so desire. And I invite all you guys to check out his (hilarious) blog!

So, this week’s  brandy-new ANALOGY WARS challenge is:

Writing/ Querying is like a hard-boiled egg...

May the analogy force be with you allJ

If Buffy Were Bella

I’m in the mood for some friday morning funnies. I watched this video a long time ago when the first Twilight movie came out and I have to say -I’ve yet to find another video that portrays exactly what would have happened if Buffy had been in Bella’s place.  

Favorite lines-

Buffy: *wakes up startled to Edward in her bedroom. She sighs and rolls her eyes*-“Get out.”

Edward: “I like watching you sleep. It’s um, it’s kind of fascin...”

Buffy: “Get out or I will drop you out head first.”

Copyediting for Dummies

I recently downloaded ‘Copyediting and Proofreading for Dummies.’ (Yes, I am that desperate.) And while most of the book is geared towards people who are looking for a career as a copyeditor, (SO not my case at the moment) there are already two major findings that have stuck out in my mind.

First, apparently every publishing house has their own style guide—a guide to the house’s policies on grammar, punctuation and the rules of writing. I did NOT know this!  How could I not know this?  Looking up punctuation usage (hyphens anyone?) or spelling/grammar/capitalization rules on the internet can sometimes deliver confusing results. It would be nice to have ONE tried-and-true rule book I could go by.  It looks like Random House has published one so I’m going to check into it.

Secondly- the author of CAPFD goes into the publishing process in great detail- naming all the possible people who could be working on your book before a contract is even proposed.

Here's the breakdown: An agent sends the manuscript to the acquisitions editor. If the acquisitions editor likes it, they might work with the author to prepare the book for acceptance by the publishing house. (aka revisions)

Then the manuscript goes to an internal editorial committee or board.  The acquisitions editor makes a case for the book. If the board agrees, the book might be pushed on to a second internal/external group who dissect the work and decide if it’s ideal for their house list.

If they give the book the thumbs up, the acquisitions editor brings it back to the author who revises it according to the board’s wishes in order to prepare a final proposal.

They finally offer a contract.

The editor and author begin further revisions.

The book goes from the acquisitions editor to a managing editor who chooses a production editor—who begins the process of creating a print-ready book.

The production editor gives it to a copyeditor and a designer.

When the copyeditor is done it goes back to the acquisitions editor and author for further revisions.

Conclusion— If I’m expecting to ever make it as a published author, learning to look at my work subjectively and make real (as opposed to tweaking, rereading, adjusting, pruning, adding a little of this here- a little of that there) in depth, intelligent revisions that follow and effectively incorporate professional feedback is a must.  Nobody is going to do it for me–no matter what step of the game I’m at. And it’s definitely, in my case, a skill that is being learned and honed over time.

I can’t imagine how hard it must be for authors that finally make it to that stage in the game and are confronted with having to change, re-write and resubmit their manuscript upteen times before the house makes it to a final product. Preeessuuure.

Of course, we’d all love to be there:)

Does Premise Matter More Than the Execution?

It takes a lot for me to put a book down and not pick it up again.  In fact, I think I can only count one other instance in my life where I simply couldn’t finish a book- It was Robinson Crusoe.  I was in high school and on a classic lit kick.  Robby was the only one I couldn’t get through. I didn’t care enough about the main character (sorry Robby) and preferred staring at a blank wall rather than snoozing through the plot. 

However, I just finished a series of books that were highly recommended by amazon, and goodreads, and even much of the blogging community.  Actually, I can’t say I ‘read’ them because the truth is- I put the first book in the series down after getting about half way through and didn’t pick it up again until a year later when the sequel came out and I finally decided to give it another chance.

But again, I ended up skimming most pages- looking for the actual action.  Don’t get me wrong- the writing itself was impeccable.  The author has a fantastic grasp on nuance and style but this was overshadowed by the long winded description, flat characters, incessant head-hopping, unnecessary flashbacks/backstory, monotone plot, slow pacing and pages and pages spent in the character’s stream of consciousness that pressed my snooze button one too many times.  I skimmed the second book in the series just to find out what happens.  When it came to the third, I decided to just look up the plot summary to find out in a few pages what it took the author 500 pages of the above to get across and was disappointed to find out the plot was left unresolved and filled with holes.

As a writer trying to break into the world of publishing, I can’t help but sit back and scratch my head, thinking ‘Why is it okay for this author to break so many rules?  Why did their agent and editor (which are both reputable) overlook so many of the book’s downfalls before pushing it out into the world?’

And then it occurred to me.  The premise.

The premise was unique in its own way and held a lot of ‘hot’ elements- supernatural beings, an intense romance, lots of teen angst and tortured souls.

And I realized something.  You could be J.K. Rowling or Stephen King but if your book is about a dungbeetle’s quest to find the biggest, smelliest crap pile in the world- you aren’t going to make it past the querying stage.

On the flip side- you could have a ten year old, with a ten year old’s grasp on grammar and vocabulary- write a book about the same dungbeetle but this time it’s about his quest to fight for the lives of his 300 little brothers and sisters after their parents were tragically murdered beneath the heel of an evil Converse Allstar-- and probably make it farther in the publishing process than a polished writer.

The lesson I learned from these books?

I think sometimes (I highlight ‘sometimes’ because thankfully this isn’t the norm.) what overrides whether or not a book is published in its best form is the premise- a certain mixing and matching of things that ‘work’ and things that ‘sell’. 

Sometimes the premise or even the genre itself is more important than the execution of the plot.  And it will pass with agents, and editors, and even the consumers who feel like reading ‘that kind of story’ and don’t care much about how it’s told. 

But the word ‘generic’ has a negative connotation for a reason.  It’s things being sold for genre alone with little attention to detail. And you absolutely know it when you see it.

Have you ever read a published book that left a bitter taste in your mouth?

The Dealers Who Got Me Hooked (On YA)

I think there’s a reason why writers usually stick to a specific genre.  At some point in every writer’s past there was ‘The Book’.

The one that got them hooked-  not just on reading…but on letting their imaginations wander even after the book was closed and storyline played out- the one that had them creating their own worlds and scenarios and characters before they’d ever picked up a pen and paper or opened a writing doc.  And in many cases, there wasn’t just ‘The Book’, but ‘The Author’ as well.

For me, this was L.J. Smith, Christopher Pike, and R.L. Stine.

I read ‘The Vampire Diaries’ and ‘The Secret Circle’ in the mid nineties and they got me hooked on everything teen paranormal and supernatural. Some of you might remember the old-school cover art.  In truth I almost prefer them to the newer versions!

 Christopher Pike’s series were more magical realism and a bit mature for my age but I devoured them too. 

And R.L. Stine’s cheerleader series scared the crap out of me.  I’ll never forget the cheerleader who was hot-watered to death in the girls’ locker room.

After those, YA was my preferred genre.  I might have gone on a classic lit kick in college.  And I still have a soft spot for romance and chick-lit.  But I always come back to YA.  And when I write, YA is the place I like to be.

Needless to say, I was ecstatic when I heard the CW would be picking up L.J. Smith’s ‘The Vampire Diaries’ and I’m even more excited to see what they do with ‘The Secret Circle’.  I read both of these series over and over growing up and fell in love with the characters every time.

What book or author got you hooked on your preferred writing genre?

Red in the Face

How many times have you seen someone blush?  I mean really blush out of embarrassment or uneasiness? 

The reason I ask is because in the last few years I’ve noticed a trend in most of the published works I read. 

Everyone blushes. 

‘Cheeks go pink’, ‘face grows warm’, ‘heat rises’, ‘turns crimson’,  ‘shamefaced’, ‘red ears’…blushing. 

Which, honestly, I find kind of odd.  I mean, you can sort of expect it in period books- especially regency romance where everyone is blushing at the drop of a hat.

But when a modern-day headstrong, sarcastic, confident hero/heroine blushes about something stupid, it makes you wonder doesn’t it?  Just how and when blushing is necessary or appropriate? 

I’ve seen kids blush when they’re the center of attention and don’t like it.  I’ve seen teens blush if being ridiculed in front of someone they have a crush on or admire.

And…

I hate to admit this, but I am a total blusher.  Which in my opinion is kind of weird and totally unfair. 

I’m a pretty confident person.  I don’t mind being the center of attention…that’s never made me blush.  Crushes never made me blush.  Nor any kind of sexual innuendo (pfft)

I’m more of a ‘one on one’ blusher.   I usually blush when talking to one person, in most cases a perfect stranger. 

You see, I suffer from this thing called ‘Foot in Mouth Disease’, which I apparently inherited from my mother.   It’s like my mouth goes on auto-pilot and my brain is just one step behind - -much too late to save me from saying some of the stupidest things on the planet.  And in front of strangers, no less.

(*side note- This explains why I still haven’t mastered the feminine and masculine in French and probably never will.  My mouth simply does not have time to stop and think about the sexual connotation of an inanimate object.)

So what happens?  The stupid thing slips out.  But I could totally make a recovery- turn it into a joke, or just change the subject- making the person in front of me forget about my momentarily breech of etiquette, humor, morals, esteem or whatever else I’ve lost in their eyes in that mere second.  But alas, I get that slight twinge in my gut and I know its coming.

The tops of my cheeks go first.  Just a little warmth.  And then I think ‘Oh shit, I’m blushing.  I’m blushing. I’m blushing. I’m blushing. I’m blushing. I’m blushing. I’m blushing. Oh no, their gonna see it.  They can tell I’m getting redder. Nooooooo!!’

It really is like a snowball effect.  I blush harder because I know I’m blushing.  It’s a vicious cycle.  And before you know it, my face isn’t just red, it’s, like throbbing.  A red glowing beacon. 

And in the meantime, here I am, just trying to hold onto the conversation while perspiration starts to form on my upper lip, my face pumps with the rhythm of my heartbeat and the person in front of me is cocking their head to the side, probably wondering how I’ve achieved the unique blood red pigment and if my ears really are turning purple.

Does this happen to anyone else?  Cause from where I’m standing, the only people it happens to live in the literary world…. How many people have you really seen blush in your life and what was the situation that brought it on? 

A Mysterious Delivery

 Yesterday I received a spankin’ new copy of  ‘Kaspar Prince of Cats’ by Michael Morpurgo. 

 

I stared at the cover for awhile and thought ‘huh.  A middle grade book…About a cat.’  --My thirteen year old sister tried to get me into the ‘Warriors’ series but it didn’t take so I don’t know why I would order a book featuring a cat.  And the honest truth is,

I didn’t order it. 

At least not to my recollection.

After a moment I put the book down and studied the order form.   My name was under the ‘customer name’.   I double checked my amazon.fr ordering history.  Nothing there.  I looked at my bank statements.  Nothing there either.

Huh.

The book cover and the description sounded vaguely familiar.  I’d swear one of the blogs I follow did a review recently.  Maybe I won a copy?

So I tried looking it up on blogger, google, googlereader, etc…nothing.

And I couldn’t for the life of me remember where I’d seen it.   I remember seeing the cover.  And I think there was a description complementing the historical aspects of the story.  And then…black hole.

‘Black hole’ is a syndrome I’ve had since I was a kid.  I’ll pick something up with the intention of putting it in a ‘better place’.  Then later on, when I go looking for it, I have no idea where I put it.  I’ll wrack my brain, trying to remember.  I’ll see myself picking up whatever it was and walking towards…boom! black hole.

It’s frustrating to say the least.

SO, what does any normal writer do when they receive a free book? 

Yeah, I finished it in about an hour.

It was a really cute story.  I’m not familiar with a lot of middle grade but it was written in very clear, concise language.  The main characters were likeable and I did love the historical aspects about the Titanic. 

SO if someone sent me the book, thanks!  And if it was only a mistake made by some distributing company…well, I’m a firm believer in destiny.  I’ve wanted to start bulking up on my middle grade for quite some time now and this was a great way to begin!

Happy Wednesday!

*CQG*