Wednesday, April 11, 2012

J - Jackass

We all have those moments.  The times we look back upon and cringe at our lack of foresight, etiquette, restraint…underpants.

Like most people, I have plenty of jackass moments to mull over – like that time I went to meet the new boss.  Or the time I wore through the back tires of a car because I didn't realize the parking brake was up.  

The car wasn't mine.

But most often than not, my jackass moments are only witnessed by a few close friends or family members.  Rare are the occasions where we make a fool out of ourselves in front of a large audience of people we don’t know.

Rare.

But they do happen. 

At least, in my case.

It was sophomore year of college.  I had a presentation to do for Connecticut History class – the kind of presentation where you prepare slides that are flashed up on the big screen in front of an amphitheater full of students.

We had to pick a moment in history and show how it affected the people of Connecticut. I did mine on prohibition.  I had a blast looking through old journal articles and collecting scandalous stories about organized Connecticut crime families, shoot outs, and farmers and factory workers who were secretly making moonshine and running underground speakeasies. 

I usually do okay in front of an audience- once I get going.  I remembered to project my voice, stay focused and only look down at my documents to remind myself of the next major points.

I gotta admit, my audience seemed pretty attentive.  Compared to the Great Depression or fish farming - prohibition was a fairly interesting topic to my peers.  It dealt with alcohol, breaking the rules, and secret parties, after all – everything you need to inspire a roomful of college students.

I was closing up my presentation when the professor opened the floor up to questions.  There weren’t many and I can’t even remember most of them.

But I sure as hell remember the last one.

A fellow student raised his hand and asked ‘So, are you of dry or wet sentiment?’

It was a stupid question.

I should have thought about it a little longer.  I should have phrased things in my head. But, like the jackass that I am, I took the bait and replied without thinking:

‘Oh, I’m totally wet.’

The room went silent and I immediately closed my eyes and cringed.  ‘Katie…did you really just say ‘you’re wet’ in front of a hundred or so college sophomores?’

Yes. 

Yes, I did.

And it didn’t go unnoticed.  The snickers could still be heard as I packed up my presentation and took my seat.

Such is the life of a jackass.

Any jackass moments you’d like to share?

25 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

At least you were memorable!

Natalie Aguirre said...

Don't have a specific one to share. But I agree that most of them are around my family where I sometimes don't think before I speak.

Old Kitty said...

Awwwww!!! I raise a glass of bubbly to your brave presentation!! Yay!

The first jackass moment that comes to mind is me at work walking out of the toilets with tissue stuck on my shoe and no-one, but no-one said anything all day! Or the time I wore my jumper inside out. Again. No One said anything! Why do I work with these people!?!? LOL!

Take care
x

Em-Musing said...

One time I took off my jeans and underwear in one fell swoop. The next time I wore the jeans, I went to the grocery store. After awhile, I felt something down by my foot. My underwear! I had been dragging them throughout the whole store! It took me awhile to figure out how they got there, and then I didn't know if I should just kick them away, or pick them up and stuff them in my purse.

shelly said...

I have way too many jackass moments to share. It would take up you blog page. So I'll spare you the details.

Matthew MacNish said...

I think you should be proud of that moment. You rolled with the joke, and made the presentation memorable. I'd have given you an A.

Connie Keller said...

There was the time I went to Blockbuster and told the man at the counter, "I need a man for all seasons." When he started to smirk, my husband said, "It's a movie."

Tasha Seegmiller said...

As a teacher, I experience these ALL the time - like the student who did her whole presentation on the emasculation proclamation...

Tasha Seegmiller said...

As a teacher, I experience these ALL the time - like the student who did her whole presentation on the emasculation proclamation...

elizabeth seckman said...

can't top that...wouldn't even want to try!

Slamdunk said...

How funny--well, I mean to be in the audience.

I had one during questions for a presentation for grad school. Someone asked me a question that I thought I knew the answer to, but then I realized mid-sentence that my answer was not correct. I stopped and tried to recover, but it got worse. I then turned 14 shades of red.

I learned that if I don't know the answer, I should just admit it and move on, because my BS skills are usually lacking.

~Sia McKye~ said...

Lolol! I've had a few moments but not in public. Or at least, I recall any.

Sia McKye OVER COFFEE

Talli Roland said...

Oh DEAR! *snicker snicker*

Jackass moments, I've had a few! From sliding down Tube stairs head first to, well . . . let's leave it at that, shall we? :)

mshatch said...

lol, I agree with Matt! And em-musing you made me laugh, too, with that story!

Ricky Bush said...

I took a speech class in college and the first time I got up, the professor stopped me in mid speech and said, "Your Texas accent will have to go if you ever plan on speaking in public". I dropped the class the next day.

Marsha Sigman said...

I love your jackass moment!ha

Mine are so many...there was that time I was IM'ing my friend in the next office about the crazy new girl that got hired and accidentally sent the IM to the crazy new girl...

Or the time my husband sent me a pornagraphic text and I hit some button on my phone that read it out loud. Yeah. There are so many I just learned to roll with them.

Kimberlee Turley said...

I'd say the other person was the jackass in this scenario.

There's been a few times when I assume something without knowing the facts, get all pissy, then realize later it was my fault. Yup, I'm a jackass.

Theresa Milstein said...

Poor you! So unfair. Yeah, the other person was a jackass.

Jenny said...

Thank you for sharing your jackass moment. My eyes are totally wet from laughing at it.

I put my foot (hoof?) in my mouth so often that I'm learning to just keep quiet and smile.

Tracy Makara said...

I have had my share of jackass moments! Too many to list. Your prohibition moment...wow! Definitely something I could see myself doing.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

Not me, but a dear friend told me a story similar and possibly worse than yours. She and her husband were staying in a nice hotel in a city. They were on the 18 th floor and got on the elevator to go downstairs to dinner. On the elevator were three marines in their dress uniforms and looking quite spiffy. Her husband started talking to them and asked them where they were going. "To the Marine Ball", one of them said. To that, sweet, innocent Anne, replied, "I didn't know Marines had balls"'. The rest of the ride down was silent. I do not doubt the story because I have been witness to quite a few of her faux pas since.

Neurotic Workaholic said...

Eeeps! That's embarrassing! But you lived through it, and that's what counts.
Once when I was writing an article for the school paper (back when I was a much, much younger student), I got a quote from an upperclassman; I didn't realize that the quote he gave me included a dirty joke, because I was too young to understand what it meant. It was only after the article was printed that other people explained it to me.

Botanist said...

Well, there was the time an uncle of mine taught me the Siamese national anthem. Supposedly to the same tune as "God Save the Queen", it consisted of just three words repeated: Owa Tana Siam.

So there I stood, in the middle of the room, singing my heart out and feeling very proud of myself, and wondering why everyone was laughing.

I was about 5 at the time.

And very gullible.

Angela Ackerman said...

Okay, that's kind of awesomely funny--sounds like something I would do. Lol

I have pulled my fair share of boneheaded moments. I flooded a neighbor's yard, I locked another neighbor out of their house by mistake, and set a feral cat loose in YYET ANOTHER NEIGHBOR'S house.

The lesson here? Don't be my neighbor. ROTF.

Angela

vic caswell (aspiring-x) said...

egads! my hubby once had a gal tell him over the phone that she was wet and she wasn't even in the shower...
BLECH!!!
at least your's was unintentional!

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