Tuesday, April 24, 2012

U - Unsuspecting and Naked


Yup, that’s what I was when my four-year-old informed me there was ‘a man at the door’ this morning. My husband was already at work, kids parked in front of the t.v. and I was in the shower and had just started conditioning my hair.

Now, we’ve told our daughters a million times that they aren’t to open the door for anyone.  They’re always convinced it’s their grandmother dropping by for a visit- and often times it is (she lives only a few buildings down). But you can never be too careful.

Unfortunately my four-year-old (almost five) has never held verbal warnings in much esteem.

“I can’t believe you opened the door!!!? You have got to be KIDDING ME!!!” I screeched while wiping water from my eyes. I cut the water, jumped out of the shower and threw on a towel. –Then peeked around the wall so I could see the front door.  Sure enough, there was a delivery guy standing outside the threshold, looking amused. 

“I’m sorry,” he said with a  shrug when he caught my eyes peeking out from behind the wall.

Yeah- sure you are, pal.

I pulled my wet head out of the hallway with a squeak and called “I’ll be right there!”  while scrambling to the bedroom and grabbing whatever clothes were at hand…which happened to be a pair of my husband’s sweatpants. They fell down to my ankles while I frantically tried to zip up a hooded sweatshirt of which the zipper was broken. 

I growled in frustration but finally found an over-sized sweatshirt with no zipper and my own sweatpants that were on the floor of the bathroom. I threw my half-conditioned hair into a towel and met the delivery man at the door.

“I’m really sorry,” he said again, chuckling. 

He didn’t look sorry.

“It’s not your fault. My daughter is going to be sorry, though,” I assured him with a tight smile.

Needless to say, my four-year-old got a stern *ahem* talking to and I’m taking away her sugar privileges for two days. No candy, dessert, or sugary snacks. (her personal four-year-old version of hell.)

On the bright side, her antics helped me come up with a blogpost for today- even if my hair is starting to do that clumpy-dry thing it does when the conditioner doesn’t get washed out all the way…

Have you ever been caught ‘unsuspectingly naked’?

30 comments:

Em-Musing said...

Ha, ha! Cute post. Me? My grandmother who was senile, caught me and my fiance naked down in the basement doing, ahem. When my parents came home she told them, but I countered with, "Not true. You know Nana's senile. You can't believer her." Don't know if my parents believed me though.

Dana said...

I haven't been caught like that, but I do have kids, so it's probably bound to happen sooner or later, right? ;)

Cute post!

Marta Szemik said...

OMG! Be thankful it was just a delivery man. While the story is amusing, you must have been so freaked out when she told you "there's a man at the door". I know I would have been. It hasn't happened to me yet, but I understand where you're coming from. Mine are 7 & 9 and still, every time I go to the shower they get the lecture of not opening the door.

Matthew MacNish said...

Can you not get back in the shower? I don't know. It's hard for me to understand, because I have pretty much - no hair.

Wendy L. Callahan said...

Hm... No. If I'm naked, I'm naked, and others just have to deal with it. ;) I answer the door in a towel if necessary.

SA Larsenッ said...

Haha...he didn't look sorry. I bet you could tell.

My son did that a few weeks ago. He answered the door for a delivery man with a package. The guy scolds him, telling him he shouldn't open the door to strangers.

Yeah, I felt like mother of the year.

Old Kitty said...

LOL!!!!!! I can honestly say I've never been caught unsuspectingly naked! LOL! But it's in my bucket list! LOL! Take care
x

Timothy Brannan said...

It has gotten to the point where I have a phone in the bathroom. I know the second I get into the shower someone is going to call me.

Laura Pauling said...

Funny now but I would've totally freaked out! I don't even like taking showers when I'm alone in the house b/c you never know who stops by! Of course, then I lock the doors. Glad it made a funny story later though!

Jen Daiker said...

LOL this made my day. I also am now prepared for when I have a child and they turn four. At least I know what punishment is their own personal hell. Those tips can be invaluable!

Dianne K. Salerni said...

"He didn't look sorry."

I'll bet he didn't! You probably made his day.

Funny, funny, funny -- and why can't daughters learn not to answer the door to unknown men or tell strangers on the phone: "Sorry. Daddy's away on a business trip. It's just Mom here."

That's why you have to get a big dog with sharp teeth, like we did. :D

Kelly Polark said...

Ha! I bet that got a chuckle! When I was in the Bahamas last year, I was showering in a clear glass shower. I get out and I notice a window washer line just out the window! The guy was washing the window above me & had washed mine while having a full view of the shower! My family all had a good laugh out of that!

Theresa Milstein said...

OH NO! I swear I'm not laughing.

I can't think of a story that's happened to me where I've been caught naked. Lots of other mortifying stories though.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Only by my wife and then it was all right!

Kristen Wixted said...

That scenario is in my fear landscape. ;)
(Just finished Divergent. Sorry.)

Writer Pat Newcombe said...

Chuckle chuckle... But if it had been a delivery of something Very important - like from a publisher....???

Melissa Sugar said...

My kids do the same thing all the time. It really makes you wonder, just how much of what we warn them about do they truly consider? I have always had an odd feeling that delivery men know how to time a woman's shower,lol. But, you gotta love it when the kiddos capers lend a hand in our blog post.

jaybird said...

You just made that man's day. I'll bet he's probably re-telling the story about a beautiful naked American girl on Twitter or Blogging about it himself, right now, with all of his friends!

Maybe you should check to see what's trending right now.. :)

Mina Burrows said...

Who hasn't? My kids have pulled this on me too. I know exactly how you feel. :)

Geoff Maritz said...

Somewhere, Some time I read that it was unwise to sleep naked. I found this out long before I read about it.
My two kids and I were living on a yacht in Durban harbour, sounds so cool, but then of course there was the naked surprise. The damn thing sank with us on board. Imagine my embarrassment running around a yacht marina stark naked trying to save my home.
Oh well, we did save the boat and the next day everyone was very friendly and helpful, especially the ladies.
Children can really put you in a spot, boats are much better at it though, ha, ha, ha.
Blessings and thanks for a good laugh, Geoff.

Annalisa Crawford said...

lol I don't remember anything like that ever happening to me... I'm sure I'd remember!

I love Geoff's story, just above :-)

Tracy Makara said...

LMAO! Ehem...I mean...that's terrible. :) Oh yeah, I've been caught naked more than once. Last time though was a neighbor. I hear the knock and ignored it...was in the shower...the pounding kept getting louder so I was thinking maybe something was wrong in the neighborhood, who knows. So I slide across the floor and stick my dripping wet head around the door. It was really important...they wanted to know if I had any extra milk. Oh yeah, that totally made my day. :)

Charlie Holmberg said...

Ha ha ha! At least you got a good story out of it!!

I once got caught naked when I was a teenager because my window was open and my sister was jumping on the trampoline, therefore getting high enough in spurts to peek at me. She called out to me and I just dived to my floor (out of sight) and stayed there until she left...

Amy Saia said...

This exact thing happened to me just the other week. Fun, ain't it? No.

Cherie Reich said...

Ugh! I couldn't imagine being caught like that. So embarrassing, although I'm sure you gave the mail delivery person a story to tell his friends. :)

farawayeyes said...

Gotta love a 4 yr old. It's their job to embarrass and terrify you. But,life is fair, they will be teenagers one day, then it's your turn.

Nancy Thompson said...

Makes for a cute post and a funny story!

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

OMGoodness! What did he want...other than a peek?

Jeremy Bates said...

Yes, once. No details will be provided. lol

When I did sales as a teen you would be surprised of all the naked or scantily clad people who were caught when I came a knocking. Since deliverymen and sales people are used to these things, we are generally sorry, it's just that we've seen and said it so many times so as to appear lackadaisical.

Michael Pierce said...

I guess I can count myself lucky my 3-month-old can't answer the door yet. But I'm not too worried about when that day comes because I have a 10-pound dog who's been trained to kill and another who supervises.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...