V - Vacuum War

Most of you already know how I feel about house cleaning. I do it because if I don’t, nobody else will.  Doesn’t mean I enjoy it. Although there is something to be said about opening all the windows and deep-cleaning the house on a bright sunny day when everything smells like spring. Unfortunately, bright sunny days are few and far between in the Parisian suburbs.

If I’m going to clean, it’s going to be on my terms.  Alas, this has lead to a vacuum war between myself and my French husband.

You’ll notice, if you type ‘vacuum’ into google images- about 95 percent of the pictures shown are like the above- an all-in-one model, with the sack and sucking mechanism included along the handle.  It’s easy to use- sure, maybe a little bottom-heavy, but also easy to store in a broom closet so you don’t have to look at the damn thing all day long. Perfect for the doll-houses with minimum storage space that pass for apartments in these parts.

If you type ‘aspirateur’ (French word for vacuum) into google images- you’ll find 95 percent resemble big hulking jet packs with a tube that leads to the long pipe with a handle and vacuum head.  Anything less is gawked at by my French counterparts as ‘inadequate’.

I hate these kinds of vacuums. 

Hate them, hate them, hate them. 

The heavy reverse-jetpack on wheels needs to be tugged along behind you as you desperately try to avoid the tubing (which often gets caught between my legs) and try not to trip over the mile-long wire that trails behind the whole as you vacuum away. And lifting the jetpack is damn near impossible. I don’t understand why there’s even a handle.  The thing weighs as much as I do. Maybe I’m just a wimp- but I find these machines more trouble than they’re worth.  And don’t even get me started on trying to find a storage space willing to accommodate the monstrosity.

That’s why I’ve stuck by my Red Dirt Devil all-in-one for the last few years- that was, until my husband and mother in law (and a store clerk) ganged up on me and made me buy a ‘real’ vacuum by their standards.

Needless to say, I remain loyal to Little Red, even if he might not have the same sucking capacity.  The ‘Heffalump’ my husband made me buy remains up against a wall in our hallway (just like I said it would because there’s no damn place to put it!)

I hate to admit it, but the Heffalump does work better. But that’s beside the point - I never needed a vacuum that could suck the paint off the walls.

Sometimes...you just have to fight for what you believe in.

I think this is my lamest post to date but the question must be asked- Do you have a preference in the war of the vacuums?