After looking back over some of my past posts, I realized I have a problem. I’m constantly comparing the writing and querying process to other things in life, making analogies, metaphors, similes. (Yes. I put all three because I’m too lazy to God or Google what the difference is right now.)
It’s getting to the point where most of my posts begin with me comparing writing to some bodily function and querying to finding the love of your life. Not pretty. But I promise, I will seek help.
Let us have a look through creepy’s analogy (metaphor, simile) graveyard. You might want to hold hands. It’s scary in there.
“The problem is querying agents is like being one of those little yappy circus dogs that are led through hoops and fire dressed in a clown suit and strung along by a big juicy dog bone.” 4-5-10
“Finding an agent for your book is about as fun as poking yourself in the eye. Repeatedly….on purpose.” 4-7-10
“When agents say ‘I’m not connecting with this.’- It’s like the equivalent of going on a first date, leaving after the main course and when you arrive at the door the man says ‘I’m sorry, I’m just not that into you.’” 4-15-10
“How many times do we see a person, article, place, or building and think ‘This would be really useful in my story.'? We pick it up, put in our pockets and examine it closer when we arrive in the safety of our own homes. Most of the time, we don’t even do this intentionally. It just happens. But if we look at our manuscripts- really look, I’m sure almost everyone will find little scraps, bits, and pieces taken from a myriad of places and people….Like somebody’s dumped out my pre-teen handbag. » 5-16-10
“The Query Hangover. It happens sometimes. There’s no rhyme or reason but when the mood hits, you often find yourself waking up the next morning and thinking “ What the hell did I do last night ? What was I thinking?” 7-9-10
“My manuscript beginning is like a crowning head. It’s what makes its debut into the world- the first thing a reader sees. And it has gone through SO many different transformations in the last year and a half that I barely recognize it. But I still don’t think it’s solid. » 7-28-10
“You put your one sentence in. You take your one sentence out. You put another sentence in and you shake it all about.” 7-30-10
“I feel like a sperm. - In competition with the millions of other sperm struggling to get to that big fat publishing egg at the center of it all. Agents, of course, are the diaphragms that filter the weak from the strong.” 8-4-10
“But sometimes, it (rejection) WILL get you down. After all, you’re basically sticking your self esteem out there like a piñata and asking agents and professionals to take a whack. At some point, there's just no more candy people.” 9-7-10